It’s been a week since last time I worked out. I thought I needed some rest. Now I don’t have ANY motivation.
My University exams are in 2 weeks. I’m kind of stressed. But I can’t concentrate in studying… Last weekend I went to a friend’s prom, in which I saw… TADA! My ex-boyfriend. I was doing perfectly fine until I saw him… And ever since I haven’t been able to sleep or eat properly. I’ve seen him unexpectedly 4 TIMES this week. Yesterday I saw him twice. First I was with my best friend, and I saw him walking to his house, my heart started pumping so fast I had to have my friend put her hand on my chest and feel it. I honestly was scared. Second, I was walking to meet a friend, but he told me to wait for him ‘cause he was running late. So, while I was approaching the spot where we were meeting, BAM, there he was. And I couldn’t help saying a pretty loud “GODDAMMIT!” in the middle of the street. Awks.
Seriously… I hate to admit it, but I REALLY LIKE this guy. It gives me fucking butterflies thinking about him and about all the things I want to tell him. Worst part is he hangs out with the same group of friends… And I’m sure he’s pretty good without me. But I need to tell him so many things… It was my fault that we broke up… Fucking eating disorder… This sucks ass, really. I will talk to him as soon as I can… I don’t mind if he thinks I’m mental, or that I’m obsessed… But damn, he was SO important, and still is. The only thing I worry about is that I’m quite sure that he’ll be okay being just friends… And I couldn’t handle it. It’s selfish. I’m selfish. But I need him.
I’m sorry guys I just said all that. Well, don’t think anyone will care anyway.